I didn’t make a long social media post saying every millionth thing that almost took me out or that I accomplished. There’s enough of that.
I saw many and I believe reflecting publicly helps others to see that:
- You’re not alone
- The human side of you in this ‘perfect’ social media/internet age
- Build and share your story
I have been probably hella consistent with sharing my downfalls along with my wins. But the downfalls of 2018?! Bay-bee. I am still healing so I honestly won’t go into too much detail. I will share this:
- 2018 was my mask off season.
- I cut my hair…and showed it. Not because I want to join #TheCutLife or the #baldbaddie wave but because I have alopecia. You know how scary that has been for me to reveal?? Well, you’ve read it here first. Whew. Now I feel better.
- I moved in a new place. My last home, my kid and I lived there for 5+ years. The area we lived in for over 10 years. The apartment we have now is not only a new roof but also a new area…closer to a lot of people and it forces me to be SEEN. Like, the kind of friends that’ll pull up when they can tell I was going through it.
- I lost some material things. Had a major ego/pride check and well, let’s just say loved ones and Jesus helped me to get here to this place of peace I’m in.
- Dating has exposed me to ME. Ever date someone and it shows you something different in them but brings out your own character?? Let’s just say, no self sabotage in 2019. I am getting all that I deserve.
- I attended therapy, realized I was afraid to journal because of the harsh reality.
- I also had the scariest anxiety attack of my life…for the first time.
- Business suffered…probably because of the above mentions, but I made it through!
I guess I kinda did go through a list huh?
Well context was necessary. LOL
But I have also learned better discernment, the power of letting people/things go (not in hate but in more love of self). Everyone else isn’t always in the wrong, I always can handle situations better, but ALL times, you have to do what’s best for you. And in many moments of 2018, it was better for my mental/physical health to just let some things die. That may have been business wise, friendship wise, situationship wise, whatever.
If it’s not adding value to me, I don’t want it.
I accomplished a lot last year that I never would’ve imagined. I created many necessary boundaries as a result. Even Beyonce admitted to ignoring calls sooooo. You gotta protect ya peace. And I can’t wait to see what more is in store.
So before I go, here’s some tips from my non planned year to help us all plan for better:
- Gain a mentor. Not a homeboy/homegirl, but someone who’s where you strive to be and will be real with you. And invest in them. Either ask their fee or at least treat them to lunch/coffee. They’ll help you map out goals clearly.
- Use your planner. Farreal. It’s more than just a prop for flat lays.
- Write goals for your day, week, quarter and year. Share those goals with that mentor and/or accountability partner.
- Schedule me time…and stick to it. One thing I regret is not basking in some of the best moments I had of 2018. I was too busy on the go…in survival mode mostly. 2019, I’m basking in it all bruh.
- Make a vision board…of what’s important to you…and whatever goals you have. Nothing is too big. NOTHING. And it’s never too late to make one…do it when you feel that you’ll be most in tune and intentional.
- Before and after any plan is written, pray. God has guided me so much when I had no idea where I’d land.
So I say all of that to say, the outcome of me NOT PLANNING affected me more than imaginable. I am used to being a go with the flow girl. A risk taker. The bible says,
For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Luke 14:28-30 ESV / 7
I believe that the outcomes of not planning immediately appeared as a hindrance but in the mist of it all, I learned release old views to develop new habits. God never intends for us to suffer and I don’t think that’s what 2018 was meant for. But, there is A LOT in store this year and I needed to shed small things to make room for a new life and a new way of life.
Hopefully this helps. Love yall and happy new year!