I’m Not Ignoring You, I’m Just…

By Winnie Caldwell

Ever Since August 19, 2018, I’ve decided to fast. No meat, sweets, alcohol or social media. Some days were easy to bypass these things, others days they seemed like major hurdles to jump over.

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With no social media scrolling, I’ve paid more attention to email newsletters that I’m subscribed to such as Blavity. Thankfully, they’ve kept me pretty current on necessary news like the launch of Lebron James’ new HBO series, The Shop.

lebron

In collaboration with LeBron James and Maverick Carter’s Uninterrupted, HBO Sports presents unfiltered conversation and debate from the biggest names in sports and entertainment.

The Shop gives viewers a one-of-a-kind barbershop experience, which for many provides a sanctuary for free-flowing and spirited discussions. The series will visit barbershops around the country to gather distinguished individuals who can speak honestly on sports, music, pop culture, world events, business and other culturally relevant topics. – The Official Website of the HBO Series

I have never been so inspired by King James until I got to experience him on this show. I’m not a huge basketball fan but I am a fan of success stories, hard work, and shaking up the status quo. “the difference between being an African American and black in the hood is once you realize you can make it out of that sh*t, you wanna take the whole community with you,” says Lebron James. That statement spoke to me because I didn’t have the hood experience as a child but my first time adulting, I was in the most hood apartment I could ever imagine. But I got through the challenges and came out on top.

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This was pre-blogger Winnie. I didn’t know what stood in my future but I started to realize I had a purpose. Because I moved in this unattractive complex, I ended up alone for the most part. A long term relationship ended, I moved to a very cheap apartment, I lost friends, I was in a dark place and the only thing I began to rely on was my Essence magazine subscription. Then, I was introduced to a church that I ended up visiting, and soon became a member for about 5 years.  And soon thereafter, The Wire Hanger By Winnie was birthed! Okay anyway, where am I going with this?

Once I realized that I made it out of, what felt like my worst, I wanted to help others even more. And I have to give credit to my mom for constantly encouraging me in my child life and as an adult. Lebron said something in the first episode of The Shop that made me even grateful of my lesson of the power of words. “Don’t ever say you can’t do something. Because it can shelter your mind. You can say you can’t do something at the age of 3 and still be convinced that you still can’t at the age of 25,” James says.

So when I started writing this post, I really could only think of what obstacles almost defeated me last week. If you’ve tagged me on social media or DM’d me, I’m not ignoring you. I’v just been going through it. And I have learned to ask for help but I also appreciate discernment and silence more now than ever.

The enemy knows your moves just like God does, but its up to you what power you will lean toward. God knows the promise in our future while the enemy studies the power of our past to hold us back. After I expressed my happiness and gratitude for blessings during the first week of my fast, the second week I was challenged beyond expectation.

What happened?

frustrated

  • My finances were attacked. aka funding for business has been super lacking and income as a single mom hasn’t been any better.
  • My family has been under spiritual attack. Out of respect, I will leave it at that. Everyone in the fam doesn’t know and doesn’t need to. Don’t feel left out if you don’t, just pray.
  • Gifts and talents have been challenged as well.

And I was dealing with these things (that were way heavier than I’ll publicly express) while Aunt Flow was paying a visit, and fasting! So no chocolate, wine or stress meat eating could save me!

But with a great group of loved ones to confide in, very positive events to attend to uplift my spirit and a slice of ginger root in my water to help my mood, I made it! Fasting is more than just changing your diet. Fasting is a spiritual journey and I wanted to make sure others understood its not always pretty, but once you push through adversity, the light on the other side is a true glow up for sure!

How was I posting online throughout all of this though? Why does it look like I am on social media? Well I still haven’t been! Do I get the urge?? YAP! But I remember the bigger picture. Sources like dlvr.it, buffer, hoot suite and PLANN have been third party sources to help me continue to stay active online and continue my fast as well. I have a little under a week left. Keep ya girl in ya prayers lol

So yall wanna see some good stuff? Cool. The #TEAANDTECHTALK event I hosted with James White of the popular Henny Nights Podcast was a success!A friend of mine (Hey Randi!) also was in town, attended the event and took me out afterwards! We had a blast 🙂 I relaxed in the pool with loved ones the next day and had my first vegan bbq! It was just a handful of us so don’t feel left out lol But the black bean burgers, zucchini spears and siracha mayo were a hit!  Annnddd the good news is that I’ll be a speaker in Toronto in a couple weeks with black moms from all over! This is my first time out of The US and I can’t wait! For details on tickets, visit https://www.blackmomsconnection.com/bmc-summit/

 

It may feel impossible to get through hardship. Only you’ve read this with hope. It is not always easy but if others are asking to help, allow them to and be honest about what you need. Much love.

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