Have you ever hit a low point? A point where you felt like God had abandoned you? Maybe you felt like you were praying to no one. Maybe you even doubted God’s very existence.
Those moments are so hard, especially when you’re so used to having total trust in Him.
I cannot tell you how many times I have flat-out asked God if He cared about me, or if He was even real. I’ve asked Him to prove it to me. Then I feel guilty. Guilty for asking Him to prove something to me, like He has something to even prove.
So the very fact that you don’t trust Him enough makes the low moments you’re already going through even tougher.
I’ve been trying very hard to make more time for Him. I feel like we sometimes forget that God isn’t our servant. He does not exist to grant us wishes. He’s not a genie.
We, on the other hand, are to be His servant. We are supposed to lead others to Him. We are supposed to be His hands and feet. That’s our job. He’s not here to make our paths go the way we want them paved.
WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT PRAYER
We must work on our relationship with Him, even during the low periods. Even when we find ourselves not wanting to pray. Even those very low moments where God seems to not exist, we must pray. Even if it’s praying to ask for strength to make it another day, or praying for acceptance of what we’re going through.
I used to think praying would solve my problems. It doesn’t. What it does is offer peace.
These last few months I’ve been struggling with some things, and I mentioned to someone how I finally accepted this as God’s plan. The person told me that maybe the reason I was struggling was because I didn’t trust God enough, and that I would be healed if I just believed.
I don’t believe that one bit though. I believe God has trials and ordeals for every one and it’s all a part of His plan and purpose. I do believe in Healing. I don’t believe that God punishes people for not trusting Him, but I do think that not trusting Him does make it harder to go through those trials. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinions but that’s what I believe.
I believe that in order to trust God you must first have a relationship with Him, and a healthy one at that. You can’t trust someone if you don’t know them.
Work on your relationship. Pray. Find your own personal way to connect with Him. For me, I use a journaling Bible. That’s my way, but that way might not be for you. Search for your own type of relationship with Him.
Ask God for help with understanding, for guidance and peace. Don’t be afraid to ask.
But remember that God isn’t here to grant our wishes, and that the trials could be a part of His plan, and I do believe one day we’ll understand why everything happened the way it did.
But until then, we must simply trust in Him.