Hey ladies, as we enter 2016, you may be getting a ton of motivational messages about this year. Lord knows I have. Well, in terms of relationships, this is the best time to make some assessments about yourself and the kind of men you’ve interacted with throughout the last year. Whether you’ve been single all year long or recovering from a breakup, you’ve have experienced interacting with some guys who simply are not worth your time.
For the ladies who are serious about being in a committed relationship, courted properly by a Man of God, and married to a man of integrity, then you need to know where to draw the line and with who next year. I’ve started you off with several boos, baes or whoever you want to call them to say buh-bye to in 2016. Have you met any of these men last year?
The Counterfeit Boo: In a nutshell, this boo is not the one God destined for you, but he talks a good game, may even know how to pray, and seems to do everything right. Don’t drop your guard too soon because counterfeits always look good for a moment before they show who they really are. You have the responsibility to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), so be careful not to fall too hard and think soberly about this guy.
If he truly wants you, he will show it. He will pursue you and you will have peace about it. No peace is a big sign to slow down and see what God has to say about this gentleman. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a man in obedience to God. He will not lead you astray, but a counterfeit can.
The Default Boo: This is a guy friend who you would pretty much use as your “boyfriend” if you were asked by a creep out in public. Or this is the go-to, dependable guy who’s not gay but an actual decent dude that for one reason or another you’re not interested in dating seriously. This is not to necessarily avoid this friend (because that’s what he is), but avoid treating him like a default boyfriend. Playing pretend is not a mature way to handle an opposite sex relationship. There should be boundaries and the fluidity of friend and man for the sake of company can mess with one’s feelings.
The Pop-Up Boo: This is the random guy who will slide in your DMs, send a late night inbox, or text from out of the blue to say “hey.” These type of boos are very common, and more than likely will be a test in your love life in 2016. Just say no because you’re a woman who desires and deserves consistency, respect, and good intentions from her suitors. If he’s from the past or pops up out of nowhere to say hi, be aware of how he approaches you. Pop ups can show up as fast they disappear, so proceed with caution or—better yet—don’t respond at all.
The Ex Boo: An ex is an ex for a reason. If you remember the good times, it may be because there were indeed some good memories and lessons from that season, but if the ex tries to come back into your life with the same old same old, you don’t have to tolerate that. Everyone’s story with an ex is different, but at the end of the day, you have matured, developed and learned from your past, but we can’t always say that about the ones we parted from. He just may want that one thing from you that you could provide for him, but that’s not enough to go into a relationship again. I would suggest avoiding the exes especially if you’re still healing from a breakup with them and you know they’re not meant for you.
The Boo-Ty Call: We all know what this one is about. This guy only wants to text you or call when it’s late or booty-call hours (10 p.m.-5 a.m.). Late night shift at work is not an excuse, sorry not sorry. Anything a gentleman who wants to get to know a lady should call at a decent time of day (emphasis on day) and make the effort to see this woman he’s interested in public places in the daytime. Sis, you are not a secret or a side chick to be treated less than you deserve. You may want to hear his voice, but he needs to respect you and your time to unwind and rest in your bed—alone. Late night conversations can turn bad real quick because of our vulnerabilities, so please don’t entertain the trap in 2016; Boo-ty call boos need to get blocked!
The Layaway Boo: This is the guy who will want to put you on hold, pause, or the back shelf for a commitment down the line because he’s just “not ready yet.” Similar to the counterfeit boo, he’s got a lot of great qualities, and we as women are supposed to wait for our husbands, but if he’s talking about some Donell Jones “Where I Wanna Be,” type of plan, then by all means drop this boo from your prospect list. A real man who is ready to date with purpose doesn’t string a woman along or keep her guessing as to where he’s leading you. He will either commit to the pursuit or pursue his other options. Don’t settle for someone who’s not ready for you. You wait on God to send you someone who wouldn’t want to be without you, and not waste your time.
There are many more I’m sure but the main point is that you deserve better treatment from a man than any of these previous examples. God designed you fearfully and wonderfully with a purpose and none of that includes being someone’s option, plaything, side piece, default, or meal ticket. Whether you meet your match in 2016 or later, don’t get distracted by any guy who’s not worth your precious time or attention.
*Note from the Editor in Chief, Winnie Caldwell, “Guys if you are reading this…don’t be ‘That Guy’. Don’t waste her time in 2016.”