Reality star Toya Wright and her husband Mickey Wright aka Memphitz had an unusual exemption in which he was allowed eight “hall passes” or opportunities in a year to do whatever he wants, which many would assume would include sleeping with women who are not his wife. Toya does not have any passes nor did she seem to want them. Although this seems like some everyday celebrity drama, we can’t just dismiss the act of hall passes in relationships, especially marriage, without engaging in some biblical truth on why hall passes are not a good idea—ever.Remember in Genesis 16 when Abram’s wife Sarai practically gave him a hall pass to sleep with her maidservant Hagar so they could have a family? That brought up a lot of drama amongst the three because Sarai allowed it. God said that Sarai was going to have a baby, but she didn’t believe it and took matters into her own hands. When we operate out of God’s divine will we get some results we didn’t intend on experiencing. For women like Toya who feel that their husband will be satisfied to stay in their marriage by having hall passes, where there seems to be no accountability or consideration for the purity of their relationship, it is simply not God’s will for marriage.
The word says that we should keep the marriage bed pure and for all to respect marriages (Hebrews 13:4). Purity in this context includes forsaking all others for your spouse as you vow on your wedding day. 1 Corinthians 7 talks about marriage and that our bodies, once married, also belong to our spouse and their bodies to us. Since you are one together you need not let anyone else enter your covenant, let alone your bedroom. The ways of this world have tried to tell us that men just have to have sex all of the time and they naturally can’t be true to one woman. This discourages men and women from getting married, so guess who made up that so-called fact?
The devil aka the enemy does not want godly marriages established in the earth because godly marriages bring forth godly families and generations that can positively impact communities. So any kind of twist of the truth and misconception of scripture can influence us to believe that things like hall passes are normal to be practiced. But I remember the messages in God’s word which tell us to not go after the lusts of our flesh (1 John 2:16), for a husband to find satisfaction with his wife (Proverbs 5), for husband and wives to not deprive each other but for an agreed time and then come back together to avoid temptation (1 Corinthians 7).
If your future husband is a man after God’s heart he will live a life that pleases God, not just himself. Single ladies don’t fall for the “men will be men” lie because real men of God walk upright and even when they fall they get it right with God because there’s so much at stake when it comes to their decisions.Women have the power of influence in their relationships and embody godly wisdom that our men need to continue to make those right decisions. Don’t let the influences of the world convince you that your man needs another woman in order to keep your marriage. When a man makes decisions with his body you best not follow him. This includes his heart (emotions) and his unmentionables (lust). Emotions and #moods don’t last compared to God-given wisdom and unconditional love.
Reportedly the Wrights are now separated and part of the reason may have been those hall passes. Your man should not blame you totally for his infidelity. Even the most faithful women to their husbands, fulfilling their wifely duties, get cheated on. In both cases a man is held responsible for their behavior and how he treats his wife. But again ladies, what you allow is what will continue. Be prayerful that you have the discernment to see characteristics of a man with the “have his cake and eat it too” mentality before you make the sincere commitment to marry him.
Founder of BlissForSingles.com