“Now listen, I’ve been single for a while now, and I’ve been kind of lonely. I’m looking for someone to talk to, love me, someone who can hold me, is that you?”
As Ciara sang in the intro of her song “Promise,” she captures what some of us single ladies feel when we get back into the dating scene. I can testify that dating can play with your emotions, especially after a long season of not dating or being in a relationship. Sometimes we get so focused on building our career, that we set aside our dating life. Once we finally do make time to date, we cherish moments even if they aren’t the best for us.
I remember going on a first date with a guy and had to combat the emotional high I was having. An emotional high in my definition is a rush of mixed emotions like joy, anxiety, that bring up a euphoric sensation within. Let’s keep it real: It feels good to be wanted, asked out appropriately, and enjoy time with a handsome man. Throw in the fact that he can pray to God without you asking and you may already feel like y’all go together!
Before I went on my date I made sure to pregame: say a prayer before he shows up. I think it’s important for both parties to pray on their own time with The Lord before spending time together on a date.
On the date there were several times I can recall the Holy Spirit telling me to be cool. Why? My thoughts and emotions were getting ready to go on a ride without my spirit cosigning. I laugh now when I remember that I was telling The Lord in my mind what I liked about him while we were on the date. Oh his face, his style, his voice…God he’s perfect! Again my emotions were doing the most and I had to get off the ride soon before I make any hasty decisions with my words and actions. My emotions were so high I could barely eat on the date; I was starting to get the symptoms of being love stoned, drunk in love, turnt up for love, but it wasn’t any of that in reality.
Looking back I believe it was a test from God to show me a few things about myself and one of them is how I can let emotions distract me from getting to know a person. I was dealing with loneliness, anxiousness, impatience, and let’s throw some pride in there as well.
Towards the end of the date we got up to leave the restaurant I heard the Holy Spirit keep it 100 with me. I heard: “This is the bare minimum; just the basics of what you deserve. Stay focused.” That snapped me out of my high and gave me some encouragement as well. When you’re on an emotional high especially in dating you can become blinded to what the person is doing or saying. At that point you’re willing to accept nearly anything because someone is finally paying you some attention. That can grow to become a problem if you’re relying on your emotions more than God leading you spiritually. Ladies hear me when I say this: Your emotions will lie to you! Trust your spirit dwelling within you, that gives you the ability to discern and sense things in the natural and spiritual.
We have to be in tune with The Lord when dating, especially in the early, “getting to know you” stage, so you don’t waste your time one someone who is not suitable for you. The Holy Spirit will show up on your date if you let Him. I think sometimes we single ladies feel we get overlooked and left behind in our single seasons. That’s not true at all, for we all have a purpose in every season, and God doesn’t overlook his daughters. Know what you deserve and expect such. There’s no need to get all surprised and beside yourself because you really do deserve a man that will pursue you the way God intended. He will do the right thing by you and not just play the role to get an emotional rise out of you with direct access to your heart and other “valuables.”
Trust that I enjoyed my date, but I’m forever grateful that God was with me and next time I’ll be ready to keep my emotions in check and pass the tests.
How are you emotionally when it comes to dating?