Sometimes things happen in life that we wish would go in a different direction, but it’s out of our control.
I’ve struggled the last few months with control. I want to be in control of my own life. I want to be able to say who stays in it, and who leaves. I want to be able to decide what events occur and which ones do not. I want to be able to decide which path I take, and which path I deny. But I don’t think that’s what God wants.
Trusting God with control over my life has been hard. There’s been times I’ve prayed for something, but I wasn’t really praying. It was more like I was telling.
Since when do I have the right to command God to do something? Since when does my control surpass His?
I have this picture in my head of life. I’m sure you do too. You know, the life you dreamed about when you were younger: the friends you’d have, where you’d go to college, who you would marry, what your family would be like, where you’d live, who you’d be.
I had this whole dream, and it’s crumbled before me. Every single factor I dreamed about didn’t happen the way I planned. It didn’t happen the way I planned it in my head.
I get so angry at God sometimes, because I want my life to be the way I want it to be. I want to have control over it. I get mad, and say, “this is my life, God, not yours. Let me make it how I want it to be”. But God says, “no”. Just a flat out no.
I mean, yes, we can control our actions and such, but there’s so much that relies on God. So much of our lives we have to put in God’s hands, and I will be the first to admit that it’s not easy. I do trust God, with all my heart. I do trust His plans, and believe they are what’s best for me. But that doesn’t mean that it makes it any easier.
Something happened two weeks ago, and I was stressed to the max. I was so frustrated, and wanted out. My anxiety was horrible, and I found myself sleeping all the time to forget. I don’t know what happened, but I just kept praying.
After a week it turned completely around. Now I’m actually glad that it happened, and happy how it turned out. I kept telling myself that it would get better, and God had a plan. I will admit though that I tried to change the plan because I was too impatient to wait on His timing. I’m so glad I waited.
We want so badly to control our lives, but we don’t even know what’s best for us. We know what we think is best, but only God truly knows.
Jeremiah 29:11 “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”
God wants you to give Him full control over your life. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, because it won’t be. I struggle so much with trusting Him completely, and I find myself falling at times. He promises to pick us back up, and direct us the right way. It might not seem like it’s the best way to go, but it is. He knows where we should be, and when we should be there. Just trust Him, and give over the control. Let Him steer your life. Give Jesus the wheel, and everything will work out even better than you could imagine.
Yours Truly,
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