I’ve always wanted to be ahead of the game. I’m the type of person that likes to know the future. I want to know what’s going to happen and when.
I’m starting to realize that it’s not that easy with life. I used to try to plan my life. I had a plan for the next few years. I had a plan for college, and that failed. I had a plan for my back up plan, which also failed. I felt like my life was becoming a big failure, and I’m only barely out of my teen years. I’m 20 years old, and I felt like my life was falling apart.
I had a picture perfect life in my mind, and it was slowly becoming the complete opposite. The things that were unfolding in my life weren’t what I expected. My wants were being denied, and the things I didn’t want to happen, were happening.
I felt like my life was in slow motion, but it was also fast forwarding before I could catch a breath. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just felt like it was out of control.
I just wanted something to go right. Have some part of my plan to actually happen.
I’m starting to realize that the beauty of life is sometimes seen in the unknown.
We are all caught up in wanting this picture perfect life that we imagine to be so great, but what if the life we would really enjoy, isn’t what we imagine at all?
We worry so much about connecting all the dots, and finishing everything right. When if we just stopped trying to make everything perfect, it could turn out okay.
I’ve always had a hard time letting God be in control of my future. I want to decide the things that will make me happy instead of allowing God to show me the way. I need to be in control, because I fear if I’m not, it won’t happen the way I imagined.
But maybe that’s the point of it all. Maybe if we just let go, and let God show us the path, it’ll turn out better than we could ever imagine.
I used to pray all the time. Before making decisions, or anything along those lines. I prayed about everything. Recently I stopped. Because I didn’t have time to worry about what God wanted, because I knew what I wanted. I had a plan, and it was mine. I wanted X, Y, and Z to occur, and that was how it was going to be. No if, ands or buts.
God must have laughed at me. He probably thought it was a little funny that I thought that way, because my life is going completely opposite of how I imagined. Looking back at all my dreams and plans, I realize that my life isn’t about that anymore. My life is about so much more than these plans, and dates of when I want to accomplish them by. My life isn’t a timeline that I need to create on my own. I just need to give God the paper, and let him write the timeline, and me just follow along.
I’m not saying to not set goals, or dream big. I’m not saying that it’s a bad idea to have a plan for your life. What I am saying is maybe we should stop focusing so much on the plans, and live our life. We need to pray for God to show us the way, and follow our hearts. Stop focusing so much on a list of things to accomplish and deadlines for it. We need to live and breathe, and live some more. Follow God’s path for our life, and stop focusing so much on our plan and desires, and start living for His.
Goals, and plans are good. They are great even! Goals keep us motivated, and plans keep us moving forward. But if our goals and plans don’t involve God, then it’s going to go nowhere. Make sure you remember that. You won’t regret keeping God involved.