Tell It Tuesday w/B. Parker|Choosing to be Happy.

Happiness is something that comes with determination, choice and time. 

You first must choose to be happy. You can’t sit back and expect happiness to come your way. Because it won’t.
You have to tell yourself to be happy. It’s all in your mind.
It’s your choice. You can decide to lay in bed all day, and be sad. I’ve done it. I’ve laid in my dorm room, with all the lights off, and was in a dark state of mind. I hated life and I was very unhappy.
I now realize that I have to make the choice to be happy.
I’m not saying you can’t have sad days. Those are needed so you don’t one day explode. Allow yourself days to be sad when you’re sad. Stay positive. Don’t allow negativity to consume or change you. Positivity will get you through the sad days.
Last year, during my freshmen year of college, there were many months where I faked a smile. I placed a smile on my face, acted like I was happy, and went on like everything was fine.
Nothing was fine.
It’s taken me over a year to realize that being happy is a choice.
I am now making that choice.
I refuse to let the sad moments affect my overall happiness. I never want to get to that state of mind again.
It also takes time. Being happy isn’t going to be automatic. You can’t snap your fingers, and be happy.
Be determined to be happy, make the choice and understand that it’ll take some self-analyzing for the true happiness to kick in.
When I say ‘true happiness’, I mean where you have a different outlook on life and you’re genuinely happy, and not just pasting a smile on your face to give the look of happiness. You’re not choosing happiness for others, but actually for yourself.
I saw this quote today, and fell in love with it.
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only  remembers to turn on the lights”
When I read that, it clicked.
I’m sure the author didn’t mean it the way I took it, but that’s okay. We can all draw our own conclusions from quotes, which is why I love them so much. They can each impact us in a unique way, which this one definitely did for me.
Those moments I felt so alone, and felt like I’d never be happy again, I wasn’t alone. God was with me. Happiness could have been found, if I only had looked. I stopped attending church, and strayed from my relationship with God. I stayed to myself, and kept it all in. I didn’t share with anyone what I was feeling. I didn’t tell anyone how sad I was, and honestly how depressed I was.
Jesus is the light. He’s the light to the darkness. 
Now, when I’m sad, I don’t turn to the things I turned to before. I turn to Jesus. He can light up any darkness I’m in.
My relationship with Jesus is the happiness I need. I’m starting to realize that keeping everything in, isn’t good. I’m slowly starting to open up about last year. And I’m slowly starting to become truly happy.
I can finally say, I am happy. When I said that statement a year ago, it was a flat out lie.
The last few months I have told myself that I am going to be happy, if that means making changes in my life that people close to me might not agree with. I am making the choice to be happy for myself, and not letting the disagreement and comments of others affect my decisions. And I’m taking things slow, and understanding that being truly happy isn’t going to happen overnight, and being okay with that.
I’m trying to get my relationship with God back to where it should be. Trying to get the light back into my life. Taking everything day by day.
Remember to turn on the light. Happiness will come, just be determined, make the choice and be patient.
Yours Truly,

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