By Tatianah Green

This has been a favorable year so far for people on my Facebook news feed. From engagements to weddings and babies, it’s just great news across the board. On my page, however, not much of that good news, but I look forward to sharing my own one day. Social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram make it very easy for singles to compare and covet after their neighbor aka their social media friend. My fellow single ladies, there’s no need to stress or concern yourself with how your life is turning out if you are under the covering of the Lord.

If you find yourself having moments when you sigh and are tempted to compare your love life or lack their of to others’ lives, it’s time to win the battle within your mind with a few of these tips:

Don’t be just happy, have joy

Every “Like,” double tap or favorite is a sign of support for another person’s blessing, but are you truly happy for them? Not being satisfied with where you are is a big indicator of comparing your life to someone else’s. Lack of happiness is a temporary feeling, but lacking joy can be the bigger issue underneath. No blessings that come into your life can make you happy if you truly lack joy on the inside. There are many reasons why someone is not happy or lacking the joy of the Lord in their hearts. Before you compare your life to someone’s blessings, take a moment to seek about to show you the source of that inadequacy, lack of joy, or unhappiness is coming from. Remember to find your contentment in Christ alone, everything else in this life is but for a moment, but an eternity with God is a promise that we can be joyful about in every season.

You’re not alone!

Social media connects us to the world but it makes us lonely at the same time. If you’re not having the best day, you may feel alone, so you log on and are again tempted to compare your current situation to another’s moment. My fellow singles, we are not alone, in fact we should meet up more often! Singles can have fun in their single seasons without a mate or spouse. As much as you may be tempted to compare your single life to married folks, feel free to follow or connect with godly, positive and goal-oriented women who are purposed to inspire the folks in their circles. I am personally inspired by a few single (unmarried) ladies including:

Entrepreneur Karen Civil

Stylist ‘GooGoo’ Atkins

Jamie Grace

These ladies are just a few of many who are living life and loving it, even if they don’t have a ring, husband, or babies. Be inspired, but don’t compare. You were individually selected and purposed to touch lives with how you live for God. If you’re busy comparing your life to other’s purposes and blessings, you won’t be able to acknowledge and give God the glory for yours! Don’t let the Kingdom not experience the precious gifts within you. Be you, be amazing. Someone needs to be inspired by Y.O.U.

Believe in your story

So when is that time you’ve been waiting on going to happen for you? I think about that from time to time, but when I look back on the many blessings God has brought my way in His time and for my good, the wait didn’t seem as long or painful. We’re reminded in the word to not worry, not covet, and not despise the little things. Don’t think for a moment that God is not at work in your life or love story. He is at work and will bring your story to completion—do you believe that? Your love story may not have gone the way you’ve wanted to at this point, at your age, or at the rate you wanted, but you have to believe that God has a story written and promised to you, His precious daughter.

That faith that you have in your story means that in spite of what you see going on in other peoples’ lives, you choose to not get distracted and focus on what is ahead of you in your lane. God uses our everyday struggles and victories to build our faith and character for His will and purposes. Keep pushing in faith that you will be blessed with what your heart desires, just delight in the Lord (Psalm 37:4) and hold onto the promises for your story, not anyone else’s blessings or story. You were made unique enough to have your own story—now live in, believe in, and love it!

I hope and pray that this is able to help someone else in this season of singleness. If you find yourself still struggling in comparing your life to others’, it may be time to fast from technology and social media for a season. Fasting from what feeds your sinful nature (aka flesh) will allow your spirit to be fed with godly things like more time for prayer and content that glorifies the Father. Ladies, let us be content in all seasons including the very ones we think we would resent most. Understand that God’s hand is in it all and He will work it out for your good, and when your blessings come, nothing else will be able to compare!

 

  About the Author

 Tatianah Green is a multimedia content creator with a passion for writing. In  2012 she launched her first blog, B.L.I.S.S. {Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles} to encourage the urban faith community to be the best in their personal relationships with God that will in turn create successful romantic relationships and marriages. Tatianah is a contributing writer for BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and other websites. Professionally, she is an eCommunications & Social Media Coordinator and is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists. Tatianah enjoys volunteering and is a member of Chosen Generation ministries in Chicago, Illinois.