Men and women have never been able to fully to understand one another. We may think we know about the opposite sex but as humans we are very complicated species. As humans, we do have a common factor that has been in us since the beginning of time; survival skills. If a human being is placed in a deserted area the main thing on one’s mind is “How will I survive?”, “What will I eat?” “How will I protect myself?”. Today, without being placed on a deserted island, we use our survival skills everyday.
The area that I would love to touch on is using those survival skills when it comes to choosing our significant other. It is nothing new on how men are attracted to women and vice versa. Men are directly attracted to physical attributes and women look for security.
Neither of those are negative traits, it is just how we have been molded to survive. Men usually look for physical attractiveness because this benefits a man in various ways. It is common for a man to have had more sexual partners in their lifetime than women in American society. So if a man is becoming committed to one woman it may help that he knows he will find her attractive and desirable for the rest of his life. This also ties into deeper aspects of building a family. If a man has a woman he will always desires, they will have no problem producing children as long as his woman is fertile. Therefore, he is guaranteed to have plenty to carry on the family name.
Now with women looking for security is also a way of survival. We as women are attracted to the physical attributes also but we are more willing to make an exception for a man who we find less attractive if he provides more stability and security. We don’t only look for security for ourselves but also for our current/future children. Most women if not all dream of the day of getting swept off of their feet by their knight in shining armor.
This man will assure his woman shall worry about nothing. The knight in shining armor provides happiness, physical desire, security and financial satisfaction. Women think find that ONE man, have a family, send children to college and/or provide ideal life for children to carry on family name. That way of life isn’t promised with a man who can’t necessarily guarantee that financial satisfaction.
Although, some women (and men) have been misled on how to use these survival skills in the dating world. If daddy walked out on mommy and left her to raise children alone, those boys she is raising won’t learn the proper skills and morals of becoming that protecting man/ knight in shining armor. Also, if mommy is raising girls alone, those little girls may not learn the proper way to be respected and treated by a man if the father was never around. This explains why we have a rise of the ‘gold-diggers’, ‘Hugh Hefner’s, and other characters that throw the traditional way of dating off balance. We as humans have taken these survival skills of “How will I survive?” to “What will I take from them to help me survive?”
So if you meet someone who gives off the ‘Give me, help me’ aurora, don’t judge. In order to fully understand someone you have to understand where he/she comes from. Now that doesn’t mean open yourself up to get used but instead of turning the blind eye, let them know there’s other ways of surviving without feeding off of others. Educate. Inspire. Compliment.
Just because you meet someone of the opposite sex doesn’t always mean he/she will be in your dating pool. You guys could end up building a great friendship.
And if you exude your great characteristics, you could help to stop this ‘What’s mine is mine & what’s yours is mine’ chain. Who knows, after building a friendship and showing that new friend of yours the right way of life, you may end up with a friend for life.
2 thoughts on “I Ain’t Sayin’ She a Golddigger: Survival of the Fittest”
Great points! But security for a woman is not what it once was. Today women look for men with money not to guarantee survival but to guarantee she can keep up with fashion trends and a social life. The same way a woman will date a not so attractive man because hes established. Most modern day women would rather a man financially taking care of her than a man spiritually and emotionally caring for her….” love vs money” men eat. Sleep and think sex! Most men dont even care if the woman is good looking as long as she willing to have sex. Sex use to to be for the sole purpose of procreation. But sex is so pleasurable and the mans mind is set to crave it all the time they will do almost anything for it. For men who are not that attractive they have to use their money. Most Women are so use to being bought their minds are set to thinking that’s how a man expresses love…. false. No Monetary value could ever be placed on love. men hurt themselves trying to buy love and women hurt themselves allowing themselves to be bought thinking that’s love. A relationship should be 50/50 both parties should have something to bring to the situation. Learn each other develope and establish a healthy relationship and build together.
Wow Mechie. That was a deep response! I love a guy’s perspective! You have a lot of great points. I agree that men and women’s motives have changed. I try to value things other than money. Money is material. I’m good on that