GROWING UP AS A YOUNG WOMAN, THERE WAS ONE THING MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET. SHE TOLD ME, “NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT NOR WILL I EVER SETTLE. AND I USE THAT PIECE OF ADVICE FOR ANYTHING IN LIFE. IT GOES FOR RELATIONSHIPS, FRIENDSHIPS, CAREER CHOICES, AND MUCH MORE. ALTHOUGH, SETTLING IN RELATIONSHIPS IS WHAT I SEE WOMEN STRUGGLE WITH EVERYDAY. NOW I’M SURE YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO WILL BE APART OF A RELATIONSHIP TYPE THAT YOU COULDN’T IMAGINE YOURSELF IN. BUT WHEN YOU SIT BACK AND REALLY EXAMINE IT, ARE THEY SETTLING OR ADAPTING TO ONES PERSONALITY AND LIVING HABITS? FOR EXAMPLE A FRIEND OF MINE IS ALWAYS TOLD HER STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH. SHE ONLY WANTS A MAN WHO IS AT LEAST 6FT TALL, ATHLETIC BUILD, NO CHILDREN, MAKES CLOSE TO $40K/YEAR, LIVES ON HIS OWN AND IS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 23-26 YEARS OLD. NOW YOU MAY BE ABLE TO FIND SOMEONE OF THAT CALIBER BUT IT IS VERY SLIM. NOW WITH HER HAVING THESE SPECIFIC STANDARDS, SHE HASN’T HAD MUCH LUCK WITHIN THE DATING SCENE.
SO THEN SHE CONFESSED TO ME, “WINNIE, I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE I AM ATTRACTED TO, WHO IS AVAILABLE FOR ME AND CAN MAKE ME SMILE. AND I AM OK BEING SINGLE IF WE ARE JUST ENJOYING EACH OTHERS TIME.”
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.WEEKS LATER SHE THEN TOLD ME SHE WAS DONE WITH MEN OVERALL. CONFUSED ME, I PICKED HER BRAIN A BIT MORE. APPARENTLY, HER WISH HAD BEEN GRANTED. BUT NOT HOW SHE EXPECTED. NOW SHE SAID SHE WAS OK BEING SINGLE. SHE MET A YOUNG MAN WHO WANTED TO REMAIN SINGLE AS WELL BUT BE ABLE TO DATE. SHE WAS OK WITH THAT. HER NEW ACQUAINTANCE WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE. EVEN TO THE POINT THAT HE KNEW HOW ATTRACTIVE HE WAS. SHE MET THIS GUY AT A NIGHTCLUB. GOOD? BAD? EH? WE SHALL SEE. THEIR FIRST DATE HE PLANNED BLEW HER AWAY.HE MADE RESERVATIONS TO A FIVE STAR RESTAURANT IN A PRIVATE BOOTH FOR THEM. DIM LIGHTING, PERSONAL SERVICE FROM THE HEAD CHEF AND A WONDERFUL NIGHT.
BUT THE DATE ENDED WITH HIM ASKING FOR A RIDE HOME.
SHE WAS LIVID. I FOUND IT HILARIOUS BECAUSE IT IS TOTALLY AGAINST HER STANDARDS IN DATING. I TOLD HER TO BE PATIENT, ENJOY THE SINGLE LIFE AND JUST HAVE FUN. WAS THAT THE BEST ADVICE? I DON’T KNOW. BUT NOW SHE THE NEWS IS THAT SHE IS HAPPY BEING AROUND HIM. HE HAS ENOUGH TIME FOR HER, HE MAKES HER LAUGH AND SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED. ‘AN ATTRACTIVE MAN TO SPEND A GOOD TIME WITH.”
EVEN THOUGH SHE SEEMS SOMEWHAT HAPPY, SHE STILL COMPLAINS ABOUT HIM NOT OWNING OR EVEN LEASING A VEHICLE….
SHOULD THIS BE A STANDARD IN DATING? HAVE YOU DATED SOMEONE WITHOUT A CAR? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?
4 thoughts on “IS IT SETTLING OR ADAPTING?”
Oh girls… like me, like us! Haha Anyway, on my end, I’ll call it adapting while enjoying. If your friend really just wants to have a happy-single-dating-life, go for it. But I think she has to reflect from time to time, because feelings grow, you know, they develop. It’s funny. Somehow I see myself in her. Hehe So be really careful with what you wish for! 😉
Great reply!!! Thanks so much for your input!
From a guy’s point of view as long as she is not a total waste of life I can deal. No car? Cool. But you have a decent job, going to school, a kid(maybe two) and you provide for your kid(s). I’m cool with her not having a car. She could be possibly saving for some reason. But all of that means nothing if her personality is trash. She could have it all together, but be a rat. She could be disrespectful. Dogging anybody out. Not able to get along with anybody. She could also be in a relationship, but messing around with other guys. Just cause she has, or is working towards a better life doesn’t mean anything if the personality doesn’t go with it.