Home Sweet Home or NOT

Home Sweet home

those words hardly effected me

Reading them on frames, doormats,etc.

They were irrelevant to me

Until one day that home sweet home was taken away

When living paycheck by paycheck, no longer paid

For the rent

It only sent me , my mom and new born son away

No where to call home

Only expensive hotels and friends extra space to roam

You think the closest ones to you would help

Though no one heard our crying yelp

Grandpa told me I’m not apart of the family anymore

Picked his bitty old wife over me

Uncle too caught up in being the boss of his wife and kids

Did he forget I had a kid?

At the time I was still a kid…a 17 year old kid

Who baby’s daddy was on…well he was havin a good time since he was on vacation from being daddy

Me having to run church to church

Thrift store to homes

Just to get baby clothes

I cried Late everynite

Trying to hold it in since me my mom and son were all in the same bed squeezing the covers tight

I thought okay this would last for a couple months

Then a year became those months

Then two years became those months

But those years became less sweeter

My mom chose to allow me and my son to live elsewhere in a stable spot

While she moved room room somewhere new to rot

I had good times where I stayed

But I could never forget I was on the verge of being homeless

I was living with friends I never would have expected to live with

I love them all more than ever but we werent always that close

They became my family

Thank you

There were days, my senior year of college

Where I would cry because everytime I wanted company over I had to tell them my situation

They thought nothing big of it but it hurt me inside to remember this is not my permanent home

That at any sudden movement, I could be told get out and not have anywhere to turn to

Went through a phase where seeing boys were my only happiness

Even though half the shit they said was game, It didnt make me think of my stresses

it helped me release my pain out of lust

Grateful it was only a phase

Then I met my current boyfriend

Who didn’t care who I lived with

But did start to feel the stresses I felt

But he stuck with me

Those nights I cried because if I said too much I would be out on the curb

So I had to hold it in for my son’s sake

Hold my pride

Put it aside

I prayed everynight for a better life

Then once I started making more at my job

I set a goal

And I achieved it

Income tax saved my life

Sent me back to home sweet home

When I couldve made my tax check a downpayment on a car

A shoppin spree for me and the girls

A bunch of shyt i really didnt need

I used it to get a place

A home sweet home

to reunite with me and my mom

for two years we didnt feel like a family

We were split

Sadly to say we had no religious home either until close to our second year of pain

After joing a church I looked forward to Sunday

ready to see my mom

March 2008

After no one wanted to cosign for us a place

We took a risk of our own

Applied for apartments which spoke Home to me

4 days later i called to check the status

“You were approved Ms. Caldwell for a two bed, two bath room apartment”

i will never forget those words

I cried of joy

My son did flips for happiness

My mom had tears of disbelief

“We did it” I told her

I paid the first few months rent

Bought furniture

Food

The Uhaul rental

Renters Insurance

I told her “Mom dont worry I got this”

She cried and held me tight

We are finally home sweet home

I never knew It could be this sweet

Never lose focus of your home sweet home

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