• Blissful and Dating Thursday: You Survived Valentine’s Day Single, Now What?

    By Tatianah Green

    If you’re reading this message today it’s because you’ve survived Valentine’s Day 2017. Trust me I love celebrating this holiday, but being single on February 14th is like being single on any other day, just with a lot of emphasis on public displays of love and affection. There’s pressure to have someone in your life perhaps, but that moment is temporary.

    So now that you’ve made it over into the rest of this year, how are you going to walk this walk in singleness?

    Here are a few more questions to consider, my fellow Valentine veterans:

    How are you loving yourself more today? 

    We can get so caught up in wanting to be loved by another person that we don’t properly do what we need to do to love ourselves. Don’t get consumed with the last time you went on a date and ask yourself out on a date. I’m not playing games with self care outing aka “me dates” this year. In fact let me pencil in this mani-pedi I’ve been meaning to get—the winter’s been harsh on my cuticles. Valentine’s Day is one day about love, but we should be loving ourselves that day too, and every day after that.

    Ask yourself:  what does loving yourself look like to you and what little to big steps will you take to get in the habit of loving you like you deserve?

    What are you focusing on in your single season?  

    I heard this question recently and I think it’s more practical than telling people to “enjoy their single season.” It puts you in the mindset of really considering what it is you’re doing. Are you stuck in a cycle of going to work going home, going to church, going to the gym, and start over again each day? Consider what your purpose is in this season according to God’s word.

    In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, we see that the single season has a focus more on the work of the Lord than the married people. Paul noted it best in verse 35 (NLT): “I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” There’s so much the world needs right now, and we need singles that are willing to go out there and help make the world better, in whatever you were made to do that.

    Ask yourself: what’s one thing I can focus on accomplishing this year? Remember those vision boards and goal lists from December? Studies show we tend to lose track of resolutions by February. Why? Because essentially we’re not focused. Bring those goals back out and refocus on achieving at least one item on there by the start of summer, June 20.

    It’s not about surviving…

    Yoooo, you don’t know what you have do you? This season is so challenging, but it’s so lit! Depending on your perspective, this is the best time to not just survive, but thrive as a single. Surviving by definition means we barely made it and we have the basics of life. That’s good and all to be alive, but are you living? What is the first thing that comes to mind when you say to thrive? Is it success in your career or is it something else? To thrive means to prosper, flourish, or increase.

    Yeah, as a single you can increase! In wisdom, understanding, knowledge, experiences—the list goes on. You don’t want to waste this time not blooming as time passes us by. Get planted in a good church, school, job and bloom where you’re planted. There’s a reason why we’re in this season at this time in our lives. It’s not beneficial to us if we look at it as a season of barely making it.

    Ask yourself:  where are you now that you’re learning and growing? Who’s pouring into you and helping you bloom into the woman or man that you want to become?

    With these questions in mind, you can actively wait while you’re single and not get distracted by Hallmark holidays. Share your thoughts to these questions in the comments!

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