• For the Tears Working Moms Won’t Cry

    By Winnie C.

    I’ve barely cried. Most of my life as a child and even a teen girl, I’ve barely cried. I mean yeah if there was a death of a loved one, or if heart break occurred, I shed some tears, but I went through a feeling of numbness first. After being numb for so long, I then allowed myself to cry; like I needed permission.

    It didn’t occur to me until I was an adult, that I’d barely experienced tears from my mom. She’s strong. She’s passionate. She’s hardworking. 28 years later, I am her. Just add on two therapy sessions of me learning how to cope with PTSD, Anxiety, Absent Daddy Issues and Spiritual Growth.

    While coping, I am also a mother. A mother who’s made the step to learn her emotions. A mother who’s cried in front of her son. I try my best to allow him to enjoy being a kid, but unfortunately there’s times when I have to remind him that his experience as a child is a bit different from his peers in a two family household who may come from a boat load of money. We are rich; rich in humility and faith. I thank God everyday for the resilience of my now eleven year old. We’ve experienced horrible losses but we’ve also experienced memorable gains that we know had to be of God.

    After recently suffering one of many anxiety attacks, I decided to go back to my roots. Yes I have been blogging and managing this website for four years, but I don’t remember the last time I wrote as a way of self therapy. That’s how The Wire Hanger By Winnie started. Inspiring. Encouraging. All in a way of escapism.

    SO for those mama’s who can’t seem to release those tears, or for those mama’s who need balance, I have some gems for you:

    Breathe Mama.

    Are you forgetful? Have you done something so silly and it was because you were distracted by busyness or moving too fast? Me too. Take a moment in between tasks to breathe. There are meditation playlists on iTunes as well as Spotify for free listening. Take 10 minutes at least, everyday to allow your brain to breathe. Also be honest with your kids. Appropriately honest. With my son, especially when I feel suffocated, I will say, “Hey son, give mommy 5 minutes. I am very tired boo.” And I get that quick time to breathe. You know how valuable five – ten minutes of peace is.

    Cry.

    It is okay to cry. It is not okay to self sabotage or give up. Get those crocodile tears out and once you’re finished, really dig into what took you there. Crying because of work frustration? Is this something that you can resolve or control? If so, write down 5-10 steps you can make to deliver yourself out of this rut. Can’t change it or control it? Prepare yourself for the next step. Be proactive and not reactive. There may be a service in your suffering that you need to offer to help others.

    Pray.

    What is causing you the tears or stress? A person? Pray for them. Yes it is so hard but if you pray with the sense of truly believing you will see how God works. Praying for health? God is in control and never forget it.

    Mamas, our minds and bodies are the vehicle to success; not only for ourselves but for our families. We need to take care of ourselves if we truly care about seeing our families prosper. Drink tea to calm your nerves. Listen to meditation music for peace, pray with a strength of believing and cry without judgement or regret.

2 Responsesso far.

  1. Danielle Lathan says:

    Good morning love! You never know that so many people can relate until you share your trials and testimonies. I’ve learned to do all of this except cry. I used to cry what I thought was, too much, now it takes something drastic.

  2. Deb S says:

    I, too, can relate. Powerful piece. Excellent writing. This piece is a keeper.