• Blissful and Dating: Real Talk on Purity

    By Tatianah Green

    On Saturday, November 12th I had the pleasure of partnering with Myrlande Desulme, founder of iWaitedblog.com, for an event in Miami, Florida to encourage women to walk in purity. We dished the real about wanting sex while waiting, pursuing purity in 2016, finding contentment in your single season, and more.

    Not only did Myrlande drop major wisdom bombs, we had great engagement with the audience including a real talk Q&A session.

    Here are just a couple of the questions asked by the audience in attendance and our responses:

    Any tips on how to maintain being emotionally pure, so as to not form an unhealthy soul tie?

    Myrlande: “Soul ties doesn’t just happen when you have sex with someone, so you can have an emotional soul tie to someone where you invest yourself so much into someone. You’re on the phone all day, saying things like ‘You’re my world’ or ‘I love you, I love you,’ those are creating emotional bonds with that person. You can form an emotional time so strong that if that person breaks up with you or you leave each other, you feel like your life is going to end.
    Understand that you have to set boundaries with your emotions as well. Someone I knew was dating her now husband and she would remind herself that he was ‘just her friend.’ Don’t look ahead to marriage and kids with this guy. If you don’t know and he hasn’t stated to you that you guys are together in an exclusive relationship, then there shouldn’t be any emotional exchanges. Why are you saying I love you to someone who’s just calling you his friend?
    You don’t want to invest your emotions into something that you’re not sure is going anywhere. He could drop you and get married six months from then, because it happens all of the time. You’re like the taxi he’s riding around until he picks up the real passenger. He has to show that he wants something more than just talking on the phone and texting.”

    How do you settle on what your purpose is? Is it a feeling or a direct word from God?

    Tatianah: I’m on my journey to figuring it out. Finding your purpose is a journey for most of us, so you gotta relax a little bit. God is going to show you bits along the way. Sometimes our passions reveal what our purpose is as hints and clues, so follow those hints and clues and be mindful of what He’s saying to you. This is the best time to be sensitive to what God has to say. He might be direct about it, you may get a prophetic word, or something will just click in your mind, but the key is to be open and follow His direction and not what other people are telling you to do.
    God had a purpose for me being single at this age. If I had my way and got married at 25 or before 30, I would not have written and done Journey to 30. Because I have gone through this process, I feel so much closer to God and to what He wants me to do in this season. God will reveal it to you in due time, continue to practice being obedient to the Lord every day, serve others and be faithful to the tasks and responsibilities that you have right now.

    Overall we wanted to share with everyone there that there’s a blessing in waiting and in pursuing purity in all areas of your life. When it comes to purity, we can often think about the sexual aspect first, but God desires us to have clean hands, renewed minds and pure hearts. That should be our goals every day as we grow in becoming better women and men of God.

    For more inspiration and encouragement, check out the videos from part 1 and part 2 of the Girls Night Out Miami event.

    Part 1

    Part 2

    For more information on Myrlande’s blog that profiles couples who waited to have sex til marriage, visit her iWaited here.

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