It takes time. Time to not be afraid anymore.
I remember the first time I met my lovely friend named Anxiety. I was in the fourth grade. That friend stayed with me, by my side from fourth grade until now as an adult. I was always ashamed. Ashamed to admit that I couldn’t walk into my kitchen. Ashamed that I couldn’t turn in my test after finishing in class. I admit that I couldn’t eat in front of strangers. I admit that I didn’t feel like this was normal.
I met my other friend, Depression, in high school. We weren’t close until college. After I was diagnosed with a heart condition, he stayed around. We then got super close. Depression, Anxiety, and myself were a trio that was bonded with glue. Yet, I was ashamed to introduce them to others.
I never realized how much it affected me. That was until I heard some people joke about depression, and my immediate reaction wanted to be, “I am depressed”. I wanted so badly to just take a stand, because everyone has this idea of what depression looks like. People have this idea of what anxiety is.
I’m sorry, but unless you are going through depression/anxiety, you shouldn’t have an opinion. You shouldn’t have a voice. How can you stand and talk about something you know nothing about? You can’t.
You don’t have the right to tell me that I shouldn’t take medication for this. You don’t have a right to throw jokes out like it’s no big deal. Depression and anxiety are not punch line. It’s not a laughing matter. It’s a life threatening matter, honestly. It takes your life away.
In class the other day we were suppose to write on a note card something that no one would guess from looking at us. No one would guess that I have to force myself to get out of bed. No one would know that I haven’t been truly happy in a really long time. But I am tired of being scared to tell people that.
I don’t know why this is something I have to deal with. I don’t know why others have to deal with it either. But we do, and we shouldn’t be afraid.
We have enough to deal with. We are battling our own minds, and we don’t need to battle you too.
Note from the editor: There is a message in your mess. There is power in your prayer to God regardless of what anxiety or depression tells you. Pray with intention and watch God work it out for your good. It may not happen as you thought, but there is power in your pain that will provide release for someone else’s pain.