You want to hear the scariest seven words a Christian single can hear? “When are you going to get married?” is close but that’s not it. I’m sure you have heard it before but here we go: “God told me that you’re my wife/husband.” It’s not a bad word to hear, but it’s scary when you hear it often, and both men and women have experienced this in the Church.
“Okay, so God told you what, now?” It’s very possible to get a message from God directly confirming in your spirit that someone is your spouse, but a lot of us are getting it wrong or abusing it altogether. So before playing yourself or potentially scaring off someone, please consider these proverbs:
As someone who has heard this “prophecy” told to me several times in my life, I can’t stress this enough:STOP. LYING. ON. GOD.
Jesus said that His sheep know His voice; are you too busy looking for a spouse that you’re not spending enough time with your Shepherd?
I’ve heard several testimonies of people who did “hear” God that the person they were dating or even just their friend, was their spouse. Hearing can come in whatever way the Father communicates with you; and in His sovereignty, may make it clear as day in a way you’ve never experienced before. Trust that God is not the author of confusion.
Sometimes our emotions can get the best of us, especially when we’ve been single for a long time. I encourage you to get contentment in your single status and don’t be desperate to get married that you “hear” the Lord say that someone you’re interested in or dating is your mate. Everything usually seems smooth and fun at the beginning and your feelings or past experiences can make you feel like this is the one to the point that you tell them. Before you go forward in that, get connected to God and open to what He instructs and how He relays a message to you.
“Commit yourself to instruction; listen carefully to words of knowledge.” Proverbs 23:12 NIV
Waaaiiit! If you don’t sit your behind down somewhere and Selah on a word, you can jeopardize it.
Let’s be clear, telling someone that you’re their God-sent spouse is not the ticket to get married quickly or to jump in the bed together. There are far too many stories of men using that line to take advantage of lonely, well meaning single ladies, only to have slept with them and leave them. I’ve also seen women share their revelation with the guy of their interest and he gets turned off, but what was the problem?
You moved prematurely.
Let that marinate for a while until the proper time to disclose the information if need be. Mary knew that, Jesus knew that, and so did Esther, Ruth, and many others in the Bible. Keep that tea to yourself and talk to God about it instead of spilling it out to others and making a mess. Can you wait on that word to manifest after a certain number of months together? Can you wait ‘til they bring up marriage seriously? Can you wait ‘til you’ve seen them in several seasons and not just the good ones?
“Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.” Proverbs 2:11 NIV
Got confirmation? If I went along with every guy who told me that I was their wife, I’d be married by now, and quite frankly, to the wrong men. I remember when a boyfriend told me that he felt like I was his wife and even though I was not perfect in how I handled relationships back then, I didn’t have that same feeling or confirmation in my spirit.
The Bible tells us to test the spirits in 1 John 4:1. The enemy satan is the father of lies, so of course he will use anything and anyone to lie to you to get you off the course of your destiny and purpose. Ladies and gentlemen you have freedom in who you choose to be your mate meaning that you can choose to pursue and propose to a woman fellas and she has the choice to say yes or no to you.
It’s recommended to be in agreement about your ideas of what marriage looks like and what you both expect instead of blindly going into it. See what they have to say about marriage if you never talked about it with each other and see if your word is confirmed on their end. God is not one-sided in this, you and your mate should both know.