I love the good days. The days where I feel like I can conquer the day. The days where anxiety is absent, and I don’t have a care in the world. Those days are great.
But they don’t happen often, so when they do stop by for a quick visit, I like to enjoy them.
But unfortunately the bad days definitely outweigh the good days.
Recently I’ve been trying to figured out my own ways to deal with the bad days. Sometimes those ways are good, but sometimes how I deal with them aren’t the best. But, that’s what living with anxiety and depression is like: ups and downs.
People will tell you to pray. That praying will make it better. Or going to church on Sundays will take away the anxiety. If that was true, why can I never sit through a full church service? Why do I leave at least once during the service on Sunday’s?
Now, I’m not saying church and praying doesn’t help. I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have God in my life. But, I think there’s a misconception on prayer, and being a Christian.
You will still have ups and downs. You will still face mountains. You will still have your struggles. And that’s what my anxieties and depressions are: struggles I face along the path of life.
I hate them. I do. But with God they are bearable.
Bearable. Not fully taken away with a prayer.
I want people to understand that. I am so exhausted defending why I still have anxiety yet I’m a Christian. God never told us that having a relationship with Him would make life easy. Christians still face troubles. Anxiety can be one of them.
It doesn’t mean we don’t pray enough. It just means that God has a plan that we don’t understand. Trust me, I wish this wasn’t a part of God’s plan for me. But it’s something He’s seen a reason to place in my life.
So I pray through the bad days, and I get through them. With God, I can handle these struggles. With God, anything is possible.
I can fight through the anxiety and depression. With God I will survive.