I used to hide it. The anxiety, and depression. The not eating. The unhappiness I felt. The hatred I had towards my body and myself.
I never dared to tell anyone, and surely didn’t think I’d ever write about it and share it with the world.
Recently I’ve realized how much I’ve been holding in. How unhappy I’ve been. How much I’ve been hating myself for things I shouldn’t hate myself for.
Within the last few weeks I’ve learned a lot about myself. How to choose the things I want, and how to be open about who I am. I used to never be able to talk openly about anxiety, depression or suicide.
But- I have found myself being open and honest about it, and not ashamed.
It’s hard when the world puts so much negativity on it, and shame is placed upon us. We cannot help the fact that we struggle with these things. We can’t wake up one day and decide to be happy. We can wake up and decide to not be anxious. We cannot wake up and decide to not want to die.
But what we can do is turn this around, and have a positive attitude.
If I’m going to be depressed, then I’m going to share my depression and tell you that God has been by my side through it all. If I’m going to have anxiety, then I’m also going to tell you how praying has helped me feel a little peace during the anxiety attacks.
If I’m going to have to struggle, I might as well share how God has helped me through the struggles.
1 John 4:9-11 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
God loves you so much! Just like we should love others, we should also love ourselves. Be you, and love yourself. God created you perfectly.
Jeremiah 29:11 I say this because I know what I have planned for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you. I don’t plan to hurt you. I plan to give you hope and a good future.
These struggles, the anxiety, depressions, suicidal tendencies, the eating disorders, all can be used for a greater purpose. God knows what your life is going to entail, and He knows how to use it for good.
All you have to do is ask God to show you. Show you how to use the struggles you face for good.
Just because we have to go through this pain, doesn’t mean the pain has to not have a purpose.