In recent news, Jada Pinkett Smith stated she was going to be boycotting the Academy Awards, aka The Oscars, this year due to the lack of diversity and acknowledgement of people of color both in this year’s show and the Academy itself. One of the statements that she made would resonate with anyone: “Begging for acknowledgement, or even asking, diminishes dignity, and diminishes power, and we are a dignified people, and we are powerful, and let’s not forget it.”
Although her reasoning for this goes beyond love relationships, we can take a lesson in this that you can’t beg someone to love you.
Ladies, we have all faced rejection in some form of our lives, but when you’re steeped in that spirit of rejection, it’s hard for you to receive love—real love—and therefore you take anything you can get. An unintentional text here; a couple of meaningless dates there. And with that you may still feel like something is not right and you may be correct, because you deserve more.
Proverbs 31:25 states that the wife of noble character “is clothed with strength and dignity…” and in verses 28-29 we see: “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’” Women of God are called to have dignity. This is not the kind we would consider haughtiness or pride, but the kind that says that you have enough self-esteem to know when you are being disrespected and won’t stand for it; the kind that shows that you know who you are in God and won’t settle for less in life. Proverbs 31:30 says it best: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” The right man won’t reject you, he will acknowledge your worth, be thankful for it, and not waste his time or yours in pursuing you with intention and God’s direction.
My sisters, you are designed fearfully and wonderfully by Father God. He made you unique and special, and not only will your God-given gifts make room for you; they will bring you before kings if you use them righteously. Women are gifted with wisdom and bring favor to their husbands should they get married. When you’re in your single season, this is the best time to learn and re-learn your gifts and attributes that make you who are. What do you offer and what do you bring to the table? Who are you at your core? What do you do that’s pleasing to God? I emphasize the Father here because He should be our first focus when it comes to love and pretty much anything else that we do.
In your single season you will be overlooked. Some boys/men are not going to see all of those great things that make you who you are, your natural beauty and grace, your gifts. Does that mean that you put yourself out of position to get their attention? Does that mean you approach them or force a connection or relationship? The answer is no. Being out of position to seek approval of man diminishes your power and thus makes you miserable and settling for less when you deserve so much more. We have to persevere past the rejection; break ups; failed dating attempts and remember to carry ourselves with grace and dignity. Those men did not see your worth because those men are not designed for you. You were created for someone specific to your purpose and destiny, not just someone who you look good with. You will both do good together, for the glory of God.
What Jada said can be related to all women, and it resonates with the Proverbs 31 woman. You don’t have to beg any human for acknowledgement when you acknowledge Jesus Christ. “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in Heaven,” Jesus said in Matthew 10:32. When we put God first, we don’t have to worry about who likes, loves, hates or acknowledges us. If you suffer from rejection in your single season continue to pray for deliverance and for God to show you who you are in His eyes. The overlooked moments are truly protection: God at work hiding you and preserving you for the people He has destined for you to meet and bless. You are powerful, carrying strength and dignity! You are a blessing! And that’s worth more than Oscar gold.