• Monday's Bliss | 3 Tips for Dating Yourself

    By Tatianah Green

    All my fellow single ladies, this is a great season in your life to truly love yourself. To love someone is to know them, accept them unconditionally, and to like them may help the love flow better.

    The question is: Do you feel all these ways about yourself?

    Whether you answered yes or no, there are some very practical ways that you can treat yourself to a “me date”—you know, to get to know YOU better.

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    1) Set a date and keep it. – I’ll say this is a part to get excited about. You get to set the date, time, place, activity, etc.! Getting the date set in place is important, because it’s about your development and anything and everything will try to distract you from meeting that date. Put it in your planner, make an alert on your phone, and keep that date!
    Someone may try to tag along or bring up another event, but stay diligent in this necessary solo time with you, yourself, and God. Setting and keeping monthly or frequent dates sets a pattern and builds the practice of spending time with God and also self reflection. As women life can drain so much of us, but if we carve out some time to reflect, relax and refocus, we can get back in the swing of things with more clarity and energy.
    2) Create a fun, enlightening, creative experience. – It’s okay to treat yourself to something that you enjoy like a mani/pedi, but that’s more along the lines of self care. A date with yourself includes taking in information and getting to know a subject. What interests you spiritually, mentally, creatively? You don’t have to wait on anyone to take you somewhere, set that date and take yourself. This could be to see the movies solo, a concert, gallery, food tasting, book event, and more. I’d also suggest allowing the Lord to lead you to something in which will enrich you spiritually in some way or where He will be glorified.
    I’ve been on a few solo dates and it can be beneficial to date yourself outside the home. I’ve been more open to the environment around me versus focusing on listening to one person on a date. You can take in more of the action, sights and sounds by observing the wonderful works of God. He desires to reach out to you in creative ways, will you allow your mind to be open to receiving His messages?
    3) Get to know you in challenging ways. – In a traditional date you’d have the goal in mind to get to know your date, but in the case of dating yourself, it’s okay to say that it’s all about you. On your date take the time to get to know what you like, don’t like, want to change, won’t change, etc. I’d also add that on any other real date, you want to refrain from using your phone, so if you must, put that device on airplane mode and enjoy a distraction-free moment in your day.

    Knowing yourself is important because you have value to offer this world that should not be sacrificed, watered down, or scaled down for the sake of being in a relationship with a man. The right relationship will allow you to be 100% you, which includes your dreams and goals having the freedom to be fulfilled. There are many married women who wish they knew what they were doing before they got married. We can’t afford to just get into casual dating, relationships and even marriages with no sense of self or personal life direction.

    Allow this time in your single to discover what God put you on this earth to do and then do it! If you’re already aware of your purpose, learn more about you on your “me dates.” Read content that require you to evaluate yourself and be sure to write or type out the responses. Take your time to do this and answer to yourself truthfully—no holding back! When dating yourself, there is no putting up a front, be 100% real with yourself and mark down what’s in your heart. Get to know yourself in the Word most importantly to remind yourself of who you are in God’s eyes and why you are valuable to Jesus Christ and His Kingdom.
    I must admit I am looking forward to my me date next month. I am taking a paid day off work to enjoy a local city and take in a concert, and it’s only me and the Lord that’s along for the journey. Have you ever been on a “me date?”

    What did you get out of it?

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    2015/01/img_4460.jpg  About the Author

     Tatianah Green is a multimedia content creator with a passion for writing. In  2012 she launched her first blog, B.L.I.S.S. {Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles} to encourage the urban faith community to be the best in their personal relationships with God that will in turn create successful romantic relationships and marriages. Tatianah is a contributing writer for BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and other websites. Professionally, she is an eCommunications & Social Media Coordinator and is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists. Tatianah enjoys volunteering and is a member of Chosen Generation ministries in Chicago, Illinois.

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  1. I need to try this. Great tips!