• Is It Wrong for a Single Parent Not to Want Another Single Parent?

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    Ok so I’ve heard a lot of kid-less young single and even older single people say, ” I can’t date anyone with kids.” Or the infamous hash tags on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter where people will shout out in joy about not having any kids.

    It’s understandable to not want any children for personal reasons such as if you’re single, not financially stable or simply if you’re not mature enough to handle a child. But what I really want to get at is the people with children who don’t want to date someone with kids.
    I can admit, I have been guilty of not wanting to date someone’s father even though I have a child. It’s not about him having a child, for me you never know what the mother is like. I’ve dated someone in the past who had twins and their mother was great. She was not the typical baby mama with the drama. She was actually nice. If every woman was like that, then hey I wouldn’t have a problem. But then there is the other case, where the child’s mother doesn’t want the father but also doesn’t want him with anyone else. Crazy right? Well it’s true. It happens. And that could be a reason why some women with child or not may not date men with kids. Because of the extra dramatic baggage aka baby mama drama. And hey there’s baby daddy drama too. Some men may not want a woman with a child because he’s uncomfortable knowing another man will be in her life forever. I believe it takes a lot of maturity, strength, communication and growth for a relationship to work with someone who has a child outside of their current relationship.

    When as a single parent, you know how difficult the dating scene can be, it may seem scary to link your situation with someone else’s. especially since children are involved. You have to be very careful. Kids get attached easily just to the person you’re dating so just imagine if the person you’re dating has a child and they become bffs then you guys decide to break up. That is an emotional roller coaster. So there can be various reasons as to why single parents don’t want other single parents. I will not say count out dating someone with a kid. Just make sure you’re mature enough to handle it. If you’re not about that life, cool. But throwing a #teamnokids party is a bit tacky and insensitive. Single parents date each other and even end up marrying all the time so it’s possible depending on comfort level.

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    What are your thoughts?

No Responsesso far.

  1. jay says:

    I have two daughters and I prefer a woman with no kids….

  2. Mario says:

    I say it totally depends on the person, that meaning the person with the child! If the person has boundaries with their child’s parents and they both respect each other then there will be no issues. The problem I feel like arises is when the said party never has set boundaries are demanded respect from the get go, so of course the “drama parent” is going to just run all over them and run anyone who comes in their life away! If you got a mature co parenting situation going on then everything is peachy,, but thats 1 in a million these days!

  3. Danielle says:

    I’m a single mother, with a son. And I agree with the babymamma drama ordeal. It can be difficult to be supportive and often times stressful these days. Children take mental, emotional, and physical attention. And if all parties can’t be mature enough to handle issues correctly, it becomes a bigger dilemma than it has to. From experience the bm drama eventually goes away…lol I use “eventually” very lightly!

  4. godtisx says:

    The current love of my life (no one else has taken the the slot yet) had a kid which he had during a brief break up. The problem is boundaries. If people don’t have good boundaries for themselves they won’t have great ones around their kid. They might not draw the line in certain places with the child’s mum…or the child. But then simple friendships sour when a person has poor boundaries and self concept. I look at the command one has over self, half the time I never get past that. The attention span of guys these days is zilch. But, interesting post!

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  6. I have a son and I would really much rather date a man with no children. I am not against it totally but I prefer not to have the rainbow tribe thing going on. Just think if you have a child already and marry a man with two children then have one together. You have a child calling you mommy and him “Bob” and two children calling you your name and him Daddy then theres the baby calling you Mommy and Him Daddy. I just rather not.