• Home Sweet Home or NOT

    Home Sweet home

    those words hardly effected me

    Reading them on frames, doormats,etc.

    They were irrelevant to me

    Until one day that home sweet home was taken away

    When living paycheck by paycheck, no longer paid

    For the rent

    It only sent me , my mom and new born son away

    No where to call home

    Only expensive hotels and friends extra space to roam

    You think the closest ones to you would help

    Though no one heard our crying yelp

    Grandpa told me I’m not apart of the family anymore

    Picked his bitty old wife over me

    Uncle too caught up in being the boss of his wife and kids

    Did he forget I had a kid?

    At the time I was still a kid…a 17 year old kid

    Who baby’s daddy was on…well he was havin a good time since he was on vacation from being daddy

    Me having to run church to church

    Thrift store to homes

    Just to get baby clothes

    I cried Late everynite

    Trying to hold it in since me my mom and son were all in the same bed squeezing the covers tight

    I thought okay this would last for a couple months

    Then a year became those months

    Then two years became those months

    But those years became less sweeter

    My mom chose to allow me and my son to live elsewhere in a stable spot

    While she moved room room somewhere new to rot

    I had good times where I stayed

    But I could never forget I was on the verge of being homeless

    I was living with friends I never would have expected to live with

    I love them all more than ever but we werent always that close

    They became my family

    Thank you

    There were days, my senior year of college

    Where I would cry because everytime I wanted company over I had to tell them my situation

    They thought nothing big of it but it hurt me inside to remember this is not my permanent home

    That at any sudden movement, I could be told get out and not have anywhere to turn to

    Went through a phase where seeing boys were my only happiness

    Even though half the shit they said was game, It didnt make me think of my stresses

    it helped me release my pain out of lust

    Grateful it was only a phase

    Then I met my current boyfriend

    Who didn’t care who I lived with

    But did start to feel the stresses I felt

    But he stuck with me

    Those nights I cried because if I said too much I would be out on the curb

    So I had to hold it in for my son’s sake

    Hold my pride

    Put it aside

    I prayed everynight for a better life

    Then once I started making more at my job

    I set a goal

    And I achieved it

    Income tax saved my life

    Sent me back to home sweet home

    When I couldve made my tax check a downpayment on a car

    A shoppin spree for me and the girls

    A bunch of shyt i really didnt need

    I used it to get a place

    A home sweet home

    to reunite with me and my mom

    for two years we didnt feel like a family

    We were split

    Sadly to say we had no religious home either until close to our second year of pain

    After joing a church I looked forward to Sunday

    ready to see my mom

    March 2008

    After no one wanted to cosign for us a place

    We took a risk of our own

    Applied for apartments which spoke Home to me

    4 days later i called to check the status

    “You were approved Ms. Caldwell for a two bed, two bath room apartment”

    i will never forget those words

    I cried of joy

    My son did flips for happiness

    My mom had tears of disbelief

    “We did it” I told her

    I paid the first few months rent

    Bought furniture

    Food

    The Uhaul rental

    Renters Insurance

    I told her “Mom dont worry I got this”

    She cried and held me tight

    We are finally home sweet home

    I never knew It could be this sweet

    Never lose focus of your home sweet home

No Responsesso far.

  1. Brant E says:

    Very powerful Winnie. Ur a phenomenal woman

  2. Even at 18, you were writing some of your best work. 🙂